An Education in Terms

Now that her work is done with the engagement ring, the wedding details have really started to pile up.  I’ve learned more about how to go about setting a table and presenting a cake than I ever thought I would.

The most startling part, though, is the sheer number of options they’ve figured out to include in wedding dresses.  I mean, how much can you do with white cloth?  Seriously?

Tops can be in the form of halter, a-line, and strapless.

The worst part, though, is how these dress manufacturers completely play off the fairy-tale dreams that most brides have.  Not only can you get a princess dress, but you can also get a mermaid dress and tea-length dress. 

Maybe after my princess has her tea party, she’ll go down by the sea and find a mermaid being swept away by her prince.  It’s disgusting how they market this stuff.

Then there’s the words women use to describe the dresses.  Foofy is different than poofy, guys.  Get it straight.  Egg-shell isn’t white.  Off-white isn’t white.  Cream is NOT a color.

My head is spinning… again.  Worst part is, I can’t get through a single conversation about dresses without losing her somewhere between the word dress and wherever she finishes 10 minutes later.  She’s bound to smack me one of these times.


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