Getting Back On Track

How is it SO easy for me to sway from what I really want?

In my wedding planning, I’ve run into people who have made it clear that I’m doing things wrong.
No bridesmaids? bad idea
Wedding outside of a church? why!?
Cutting costs on flowers? you’ll regret it
Spending more on photographer? what a waste

Now, I’ve found myself shaping MY day (and spending our money) on a day that has become some monstrosity that fits someone else’s ideal — not mine.

When I think of a day with 200 people around me, most of whom I won’t even have a chance to talk to, I feel…. sad.

When I think of a day where I’ve invited people to make OTHER people happy — not myself, I feel… disappointed in myself.

Is anyone else feeling this way about their wedding planning?

Sanity

I need to remember the below phrase. If you’re planning a wedding, make it your mantra:

“I do know that worrying about what other people do for their weddings (or what they think of one’s own) is a one-way ticket to Crazytown, USA. There will always be someone with a better idea, a larger budget, or whatever-pushes-your-insecurity-button.”

This gem of advice came from Offbeat Bride‘s interview of DIY Bride author Khris Cochran.

I let myself get upset when others tell me that I’ve made some mistakes already in my planning. Its so hard to remember that my wedding will be made up of things that matter to me, and if I do or don’t invite certain people, do certain things with the reception or choose to do something offbeat at my ceremony, I can’t let other people tell me I’m wrong. I know people are just trying to offer advice, but in the end, it can make me feel all insecure.

Now, I am trying to plan a wedding on a budget — and all advice points to choosing your priorities. These are the things that I feel warrant the most attention for MY big day:
1. a photographer with a style that meshes with our day — even if said photographer costs around $3,000 — this is most important to me!
2. good food that isn’t your conventional wedding fare
3. decor — if I want polka dots or stripes, I’ll do them. If I don’t want to spend a fortune on flowers, I won’t

In the words of my friend Lisa “Its your day. If people don’t like what you’re doing… f-em.”

Insecurities, Uncertainties

Alright, I feel that he loves me. I realize that we plan to get married. Its all the other uncertainties of life that give me a stomach ache and make my head spin.

Simple questions like “Where will we live?” lead to ever-changing answers. His house! New house! Different city! Completely different state!

How am I supposed to be secure with a future in mind, when I have no idea what zip code I’ll call home in a mere 100 days? How can I even go about my regular life with this nagging fear that I’ll either get rid of a bunch of stuff I should keep, or that I’ll have too much stuff to pack into whatever home we’ll share?

Am I being a girl, overanalyzing, or do I have a very real concern?

I Thought It Would Be Easy

Before getting into this wedding “stuff” — before the future groom bought me a fantabulous Audrey file folder for all our documentation — I thought this would be a piece of cake. Find a dress, reception hall, caterer, band, photographer, and voila! instant wedding.

Now, I am wishing for those days of ignorance (it really is bliss) –
Chair covers — which provider will be somewhat less expensive and have the right shade of sash?
Table decorations — flowers? candles? both? mirrors? etc.
Do we give favors? if so, what?
How do we structure the time between the ceremony and the reception?
What do we do with the spare room at the reception hall? Set it up for kids, adults?
Lighting?
Ack!

I will never again look at a bride freaking out and think, “eh, its a piece of cake.”

Lazy Saturday

I haven’t had a lazy Saturday in months! Between graduate school, letterpress classes, my future groom’s love of football and family stuff, I don’t think I have sat down with a cup of coffee and my laptop in ages!

Perhaps part of the reason is because the future groom is in Vegas. And now I see, he tells me that I *may* have the tendency to overbook and overextend myself.

Think I’ll do this with planning a wedding? Wait until the day I have 15 cake tastings packed into 3 hours, or the day I think I can get my hair, makeup and esthetician appointments done in 3 hours. Sigh, the issues of an overachiever.